There are so many things I wish I could change and there are so many things I wish I hadn't done.I spend the majority of my time doing nothing and I like it that way.I'm starting to realise a lot of things that I wish I hadn't.No one is who they pretend to be.I don't want to meet anymore people who keep putting on this act of who they want to be, I would like to meet real people with depth.I don't know who I am and I don't really want to.I care to much about what people think and things get to me very easily but you won't see that.I don't know where things are headed and I think it's better that way.I lay in bed for hours on end thinking about things that are never going to happen.I'm so lost and defintaely not content with the way things are going. I think I want something then once I have it I realise I didin't really want it at all. I know there are things that I need to sort out but I just don't know what they are. The only thing that I am 100% sure of is that I need a change and a very big one at that.I wish I had something or someone who meant the world to me. Nothing seems to hold any significance in my life anymore. I started not to care about the little things and that was good but now it has just blown out of proportion and I just couldn't care less about anything or anyone.I'm worthless and boring and I have no cares. I know that there is something i need to find I jsut don't know what it is.Iwant time to myself.Iwant a job. Iwant a boyfriend yet the thought of commitment and relationships makes me ill. I want to move away from this place. I want new people and I want old ones back. Iwant some thing to be the way they were, people too. I want to get my tattoo.I want school to be over already. Iwant independence. I want to lose weight. I want, Iwant, Iwant is the only thing I seem to think these days. I'm self fish and I need to change. I'm constantly upset and this has only come about since early this year. One stupid stupid mistake has affected me more then anything in a long time.